Peace Table

I truly believe that parents can set boundaries, maintain control and establish respect without spanking. You may agree... You may not.

I have been a first grade teacher, a foster parent, a lifeguard and a babysitter: all do not allow spanking yet all expect that the adult maintain control, set boundaries, establish respect and produce a safe environment.

Positive parenting is not always easy. Disciplining your child is hard! Sometimes it take a lot of creativity and it always takes a lot of patience.

Tyler and I have worked together to create a peace table for our whole family. I am not claiming that it always works, but I love that this is our place to start. If nothing else, it helps our hearts and minds when redirecting Aliyah or even discussions with each other when we may not agree.

It's a place to go if anyone in our house needs some "me" time or just wants to relax. You can request that someone else come with you to resolve a conflict or a parent can request that a child find an activity to do at the peace table if he/she needs to refocus. I try not to use this as a "punishment" but a place to be quiet, calm and happy.

On the wall we put up a few pictures to create a happy feeling. You could can use pictures of your own family too. Maybe a picture from a favorite vacation or other happy memory. This is what is on our peace table right now:

SINGING BOWL (you can use chimes or a xylophone): ring it, be still and quiet until you can't hear the sound anymore

CANDLE: with an adult, sit quietly and watch the flame dance, look for different colors, etc

SHELL: listen to the ocean

DRIFT WOOD: roll in hands, on back, legs, etc

FEATHERS: rub or softly tickle arm/leg

WORD STONE: sit quietly w/the stone in your hand until it doesn't feel cool anymore or trace letters with fingers. I picked the word "breathe" b/c I tell Aliyah to blow out the candles when she is really upset & crying to help encourage deep breaths to calm down

HEART STONE: conflict resolution; who ever holds the stone gets to talk. I picked a small one b/c I carry another red heart stone in my purse when we are outside of our home

MIND JAR: shake it and sit still until all the glitter falls again. The thoughts in our mind feel all over the place like the glitter when we shake the jar and then they slowly settle as we sit and watch the glitter also settle

LOTION: Aliyah likes it so I added it. She has to ask before she uses it. She usually asks for me to rub it on her arms/hands or legs/feet

BEAN BAGS: one is filled with rice and one with beans. They are old socks with a knot tied at the top. She can put one on her tummy while laying on her back and watch it go up/down to focus on calm breathing or lay on her back and raise her legs in the air to try and balance them on the bottoms of her feet. You could also just hold/squeeze for stress relief

LEFT SIDE: I found some cheep rugs at Walmart to create a personal space. I will be adding another soon for miss Everly! You can use these rugs while doing something at the peace table, give each kid one to use if they are having a hard time getting along or use it to create a peaceful place in any room of your house.

I like the idea that the rugs make the peace table portable especially if you have two kiddos that are having a hard time getting along, they can be in separate rooms but still be apart of the peace table.

RIGHT SIDE: Books to help identify feelings, music with headphones (we currently LOVE Elizabeth Mitchell "You Are My Little Bird") and ABC Yoga for Kids cards. The small green bowl has ideas for what to do at the peace table.

I am working on making positive affirmation cards that Aliyah can ask me to read to her (the cards say things like, "You are a good thinker" and "You are strong and beautiful") When teaching first grade, I was so surprised by how many kids picked "write a nice note about me to send home to my parents" as their reward when they got their sticker charts filled up. Kids LOVE to hear you say positive things about them! Who wouldn't?!

These are a few of the ideas that I have typed out that can be done at our family peace table. I have some other ideas that I need to add! These are for Tyler or I to help Aliyah pick something to do. I love that these allow her to have choices when learning to regain control of herself. What would you add?

These are the ABC Yoga for Kids cards that I got off of Amazon. I had to share these pictures because they are Aliyah's favorites... and mine too! They are so much fun to do together. Aliyah always asks if we can go to the peace table to "do our exercises"

That sums up our family peace table! Aliyah knows that these items are not toys but tools to help us be happy and calm (she also says quiet - but that works too!) I love that it can be used with all ages and is completely customizable depending on what works best for you and your family.

I would love to hear any ideas that you would include in your family peace table.